Friends...

"Friends"... a term we use very loosely. School mates, Uni friends, poly course mates, church mates, colleagues, neighbours, army platoon mates are just some of the people that fall into this category.

My earliest impression of a friend was a primary school mate. He was a few years older than me, bought food for me (I was still a Pri 1 freshie then), taught me how to catch grasshoppers and spiders and house them in matchboxes. I had the time of my life with him, as we hunted in the forested area at the back of our kampong school for prey to play. Before I knew it, the school was demolished to make way for a modernized Singapore and he disappeared from my life. His lanky body, fair skin and a loud laugh were the only attributes I remembered about him. I didn't even know his name. I always called him, "Big Brother" in Mandarin.

My next image of a friend came in the form of a big-sized, loud and funny guy in Pri 2 (I think...). He was a popular boy even before his first decade of existence. For some unknown reason, he liked to tease and make fun of me and I liked to be bullied by him. We made a great couple. More then the bullying, I found myself relating to him more and more. This time round, I made sure I knew his name in case he disappeared again. And so, Wei Nan and me had this friendship that lasted right through primary school into secondary education. I had less freedom because my father monitored my movement after school very closely, which I absolutely detested. Wei Nan, on the other hand, had more freedom and was more streetwise than me. Whenever I had the chance, he would bring me swimming along West Coast beach, which is now closed off. Well, we were very close, seeing each other grow up, from kid-hood right up to teen-hood. Exchanging papers during tests (he was very good in Chinese, while I 'specialised' in English), showing off our "stead", going for tea-dance (hey! don't laugh! That was the in-thing then, ok...) were just some of the many things we enjoyed doing together. It was not to be eternal, but I really thought that this friendship was. Until after the 'O' Levels, that as I left him to go study in JJC, we still stayed in contact as he enrolled in a Pre-U centre.

Events took a drastic turn . Very soon, I found myself visiting him in hospital every other day. I remembered very vividly, the Man in White said that it was cancer. First of the skin, then of the bone... It was beyond my comprehension, but when I saw my burly buddy reduced to an emaciated piece of skeleton, I understood. I cried and held his bony hands. I attended the wake 1 week later... Once more, my friend had left me. The difference was, this time round, I knew his name.